The Demon in Me
by SailorYue
Summary: REPOST: songfic told in Thomas's POV, his thoughts on his battle with his Hunger and Justine. SPOILERS up to White Knight


THis is my first Dresdenvers fic, and my first song fic.

First off, this fic was deleted because it was a script. But it's not. It's just a song fic about Thomas. A character sketch.

I lost the reviews i got, so thanks to those who first reviewed it.

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WHen i was watching WITCH, and heard this song, i was instantly reminded of Thomas, cuz he's the same. SO i got this. It's told in his perspective, and it's abot his life, his battle with the Demon within himself.

Title: THe Demon in Me

Pairing: Thomas/Justine hints

Warnings: up to White Knight

Rating: PG for the most

Genre: general/songfic

SUmmary: THomas thinks about his battle with his Hunger

Disclaimer: I dont own the Dresden FIles, they belong to Jim Butcher. I also dont own the song "THe Demon in Me" was written by Jon Weisman.

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_Didn't know why I couldn't fly_

_Didn't want to be stuck on the ground_

_I wanted to soar across the sky_

_But something was holding me down_

WHen I first thought i had killed the woman I loved, I was devistated. and even after finding that I hadn't really killed Justine, I couldnt be near her. She now carries the Protection, which is for the best. It's a small price to pay for to keep her safe from me. Seeing her so frail, an old woman in a 21 year old's body. Im horrible.

_What had me cower in fear?_

_What was it I couldn't see?_

_The answer near, but so unclear_

_I was fighting the demon in me_

_The demon in me_

_The demon in me_

_The battle weird, over all that I feared_

_I was fighting the demon in me_

I couldnt let it happen again. I cannot allow my self to get close to someone, or feed to deeply. I cant take it; if I end up hurting someone again, if i take too much. Fighting my instincts to take what was there, ripe for the taking. Fighting my Hunger.

_He fell on me when I was weak_

_Made me feel so lazy and dumb_

_He talked to me deep in my sleep_

_My mind and my soul overcome_

Once I dreamt of "him." My HUnger, the demon that lives in me, that IS me. I never saw "his" face, but I beleive it had my own, only empty. The cold souless white eyes. He called me weak, taunting at how I nearly killed Justine, and how I should just let "him" take what was his, the life energies. After I wondered, could "he" be right? Why WAS I fighting it?

_I started to just let him win_

_I decided to just let it be_

_It was up to me not to give in_

_I was trapped by the demon in me_

_The demon in me_

_The demon in me_

_My head in a spin, my strength wearing thin_

_I was trapped by the demon in me_

One Halloween, while Harry was fighting the evil of the hour (with a 65 billion year old dinosaur no less!) I was else where. I was suposed to deliver a message to the Wardens, but instead I ran into the Erlking. He called me a "hunter," sensing my Hunger. He let me ride with him, and I didnt fight against it. I fed, drawing on the surunding energies. I took my fill for once, tired of living on a "one bite a week." And for once, I felt powerful. More powerful than I was living off of Justine.

_Asked myself, what did I want?_

_Kick back or just go for broke?_

_My dreams continued to haunt_

_I'd get close – then the demon said choke_

But afterward, I found that I didnt like this power. It was too adictive. The energies I stole during the Hunt were diferent than the norm. I could sense things. I worried that it would e addictive, so I fought. I didnt want to turn into the other's in the Court. I was different. I wouldnt allow my HUnger to rule over me, turning me into a monster.

_Somehow you gotta step up_

_Stop buying excuses for free_

_So I went face-to-face, laid claim to my space_

_And rocked the demon…_

I had begun thinking. THere had to be a way, to get a job away from people; so women dont pounce on me because I cant control my lure. I worked as security at an old warehouse, and eventually made enough money to make a better living. I had to think, what could I do? I came up with an idea, to become a hairdresser. A GAY hairdresser. It made sense for the job, but it also made me "unatainable." WOmen wouldnt pounce on me, thinking I was a queer.

_The demon in me_

_The demon in me_

_I recovered my spark, got free of the dark_

_And I rocked the demon in me_

_The demon in me_

_I rocked the demon in me…_

Thru the boutique, I found a way, thru shampooing women's hair, I could feed. Taking small "sips" of their life, barely making a dent more than a cigarete would, mainly leaving them in a semi-post-coital state of mind. And eventually, it all added up. Finally I was in full control. I no longer had to feel empty. I had a healty living, plenty of money; an anoying brother; I was "welcomed" back in to the House. And Justine was getting healthier. Thankfully I didnt do her lasting damage. Life couldnt get any better, could it?

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"The Demon in Me" is from WITCH, y this guy Matt. he was posesed by this evil demon named Shagon, and he fought for control of his body back. When i heard the song, i thought "this is SO THomas!!'

SOme parts are a bit akward, im a bit out of practice, and this IS my first songifc. please no flames.

an the 'cigarete' thing... im just making a simple comparasin really.

oh, and to hear the song, just go to youtube and search "Demon in me" look for a guy with blue hair, or with a golden mask


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